i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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