Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
