What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
In America we eat man semen.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
