when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
