By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
