i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
