she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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