Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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