4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
