doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
