I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
