you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
