I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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