i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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