For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My legs feel like baby dolphins
After tacos, we're chasing women.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
