I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
