I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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