Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
