hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
