My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
