Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My cat gives me a boner
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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