69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
