are you still at the devil's house?
I love black thongs
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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