Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
