she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
