thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
