Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
