I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
