**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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