Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
