I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
