so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
