You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
