So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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