hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
