I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
