he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
