I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think my moral compass just broke
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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