its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
