Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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