theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
