I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
