So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
