No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
