I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
