i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
