we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
