go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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