Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
