He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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