I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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