ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
